If I had to eat national chain restaurant food, I figured I might as well sample their cocktails as well. We found a couple of decent places within delivery range on Seamless, but it just so happened our Hampton Inn was within walking distance of a Chili’s, an Outback, AND a TGI Fridays, all of which were open late-ish, accommodating Darling Daughter’s unpredictable schedule. We got one glorious meal a day on the set courtesy of craft services and a complimentary buffet breakfast in the hotel every morning (make-your-own-waffle machines FTW) but for dinner we were on our own and, without a car, out of luck. We were provided transportation to and from the set every day, but apart from that, we were on our own.

But my luck finally ran out when I had to stay in upstate New York for a month with my 11-year-old daughter, who was busy making her big-screen acting debut in Theater Camp (sure to be one of 2023’s best films, you heard it here first!). Thanks to indulgent friends, and later an indulgent spouse, all with licenses, I haven’t suffered much from my auto-averse lifestyle. I’m such a Noo Yawker that I’ve never even bothered to acquire a driver’s license. It was only much later, when the chains finally invaded Gotham, that I discovered their food was a lot more compelling in my TV-fueled fantasies than in real life. But seeing all the commercials for Denny’s, Red Lobster, Applebee’s and the like - none of which were within the city limits - without getting to go to any of them lent an enticing, almost exotic vibe to the whole category. Hell, even McDonald’s didn’t breach the city borders until the ‘70s. When I was growing up, the five boroughs were largely bereft of national chain restaurants. I’m a born-and-bred New Yorker, and I've lived in the Big Apple all my life (so far, at least), just as my parents did before me.

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